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"Peeling the Feelings" and Related Practices
By Florence Vining Thomen, East Canaan
My friend, the philosopher, says that since we all have feelings, we are comparable to an onion! Grotesque as that may sound, let me elucidate.
I'm reading a fascinating non-fiction book by Lynn Grabhorn. It is a very helpful treatise, all about dealing with our feelings—good and bad. It appears that during our lives, we are constantly dealing with feelings. Most of them, it seems, are about bad feelings—the boss, our co-workers, our mate, the kid brother or older sister, even our parents. Tell me you don't have such problems somewhere along life's tortuous way. But how must we overcome such negativity? Do we just say, "Oh, well, it will someday pass (we hope)"? Did you know that such a disheartening condition in your life only becomes worse if you just dwell on it, day in, day out, year in and year out? You are actually promoting the situation—making it into the proverbial mountain, from what may have originally been a molehill. Enough of this gloom!
Now here comes the onion theory: You are likened unto one hereupon. Picture yourself peeling one of those odoriferous veggies. Layer after layer is being peeled. As each shiny coating is removed, the tears being to flow. Try to peel one without that discomfort!
So, too, as we purposely work to remove each layer of bad (or unhappy) feelings, the fears will come, no doubt. But after having done away with such feelings one by one, we come to the delectable inner section, which is our happy goal.
My friend teases me as I state that I am now 87 and 3/4 years old. But I list it as such, to make a point. For a number of years, I have been letting my (blond) hair grow nearly to my waistline. It seems fashionable these days, as well. But what can a lady of my maturity do with those long tresses? Obviously, I'd seem out of character, looking like Alice in Wonderland with flowing hair; so I braided it and sometimes "put it up" with old fashioned hair pins. Recently, I let the long braid hang "gracefully" over my shoulder. (I've seen mature women do just that.) But I had my hair all drawn severely back from my face—like an "old lady"!
Consequently, I decided to look as young as I feel inside (that is, approaching the youthful age of 40!). So I thought about the joy of feeling young and looking young. (Sort of!)
That's where the onion comes in. I had my nice, wavy, long hair cut, for a permanent. The "tears" came when I saw those piles of treasured hair scattered all over the floor. But I had peeled a big layer of unpleasant feelings away, and found only joy. I astonished my friends by looking "twenty years younger," they tell me. Is that a good feeling, or what!
This philosophy applies to any member of the human race, at any time that one has an unpleasant situation at hand. All you need to do is imagine the feeling you would have if you did something pleasant to counteract the problem.
If the boss is overbearing, think of his good points, like: how really efficient he is, and how he always gets things done. He's actually kind of good-looking, too, if you think about it, etc., etc., etc. Try it. You will eventually find yourself in a nicer mood as that alarm clock goes off each morning.
So, you have a tough time with relationships—you always see their bad points. You pick, pick, pick—and of course that puts an end to that friendship. Try being your better self and giving the other guy a chance to just be himself. He (or she) will respond, and you will have made a friend for life, let's say, just by changing your feelings.
Oh, there is so much wisdom connected to this theory of peeling off the old feelings, and finding the precious joy within as the result. I pray that you older folks will "try on" a young, new appearance now and realize that a youthful attitude or appearance can actually make you feel young at heart.
People are sick because they have not been "informed" to allow the flow of positive energies into their lives and to avoid following an endless negative emotion. Norman Cousins is a good example of how a cancer was cured. He said, "No way am I checking out." He decided to spend his time in a state of laughter—funny movies, funny books, jokes by his friends. He was a person flowing life force energy through his body and not allowing room for detrimental energies to enter. He was eventually found to be free of that cancer.
The author I'm reading suggests a game of "What if …": What if I were healthy now? Think about it. Then "pretend" to be that healthy again. Put yourself in a healthy, happy frame of mind like you want to be. Dwell on it. The high vibrations caused thereby will activate the cells to begin the process of regeneration. Do this often—feel it.
If you want to lose weight, start feeling thin—your new buoyancy, new clothes, etc. You will soon be eating more wisely, with good results. Find ways to be happy.
May that Precious Being up above, who loves you and truly cares, help you to be the human being that you were intended to be. Just think positive and feel positive, always. Sooner than you think, life will be the joyous existence that it should be.
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