Sorry for Myself? — Not Really

Sorry for Myself? — Not Really

By Florence Vining Thomen, East Canaan

Time hangs heavy, with my "good" arm still in a sling. What to do to keep occupied? I try various chairs, to change my view. The wing chair is great: I can even relax to have a long nap there. (Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I get up and finish the long night there.) If I sit there in the daytime, I can look across to see on the opposite wall my precious historical framed photograph of my beloved Grandpa and Grandma Vining sitting on the steps of our ancestral home, or my tiny inserted snapshot of my little brother and me as we run barefoot in front of that childhood home. On the same wall is a large photo of the same home as it looked in 1895. On the front lawn posed Gramp and Grandma and my Daddy as a five-year-old lad, with his big sister on horseback beside the house. My tiny recent insert is today's look of the same house, not very much different from those days. The present owners treasure that house as I did, not wishing to tear it apart and alter it as some new owners do.

If I sit in my recliner on the sun porch, I can always revel in the ever-changing view of "my" mountain and the clouds, sun, or a gorgeous full moon above. It is a treat to doze there (at 2 a.m.) with moonlight bathing me as I finish out an otherwise restless night.

Between my numerous "bouts" with physical therapy, am I bored? Well, yes, the days (and nights) are often endless, but there are so many things to occupy one's mind. At my age, I have a multitude of memories—happy ones. I think of all the precious love that is bestowed on me every day, the many kindnesses of friends (and Voice readers), the offers of various types of assistance at this crucial time in my existence. Love is so needed and appreciated.

One has a tendency to feel very alone when striving to recuperate. Every act of love or concern is monumental just now. Tears of self-pity turn into tears of gratitude. That is when I pause and say "thank you" to God for my many blessings. I will be my "old self" soon. Pray for God to let it be real soon.