Fighting Back Against Deceptive Advertising

The makers of Lucky Charms cereal have launched a deceptive advertising campaign against the youth of America. While the cereal is advertised as being full of marshmallow goodness, in reality it is an abundance of oat cereal. Furthermore, they advertise that a free watch is enclosed in the box. Upon discovering the watch, I was deeply saddened and depressed to find that it was far to small for any teenager to wear; apparently it is only meant for small children. This, however, was not indicated on the box.

It is one thing to deceive children, but to deceive teenagers is an abomination. This flagrant abuse of power by that little leprechaun and his cohorts cannot be tolerated. I am calling for an immediate nation-wide boycott of Lucky Charms. That’s right, bust out the Grape Nuts—it is time for a cereal revolution! The time for tolerating the lies of the cereal conglomerates is over. It is time to fight back. Americans everywhere will rise up and say that we will no longer sit idly by while the cereal companies make victims out of us. The crimes that they have perpetrated are horrific, and just plain cruel.

Lucky Charms has tried to knock me down, but I refuse to be a victim; I will not tolerate this injustice. America, please join with me in this fight.