You Know You Are Getting Older When …

You and your husband buy new, extra-wide daily pill containers. Heaven forbid you ever get them mixed up; you both would be dead within minutes!

Your calendar is crowded with dentist and doctor appointments, instead of dinner parties and ski trips. (I tried skiing once … I fell down. Luckily it was cross country skiing, and I was in my own backyard, so the ski patrol did not have to rescue me.)

Your favorite sound in the bedroom is no longer Frank Sinatra's "Music for Lovers Only" but a little machine that plays "sea sounds," "spring rain" and "ocean waves." The only problem is that the sound of all that running water also affects your bladder.

Your favorite breakfast is no longer bacon and eggs. You now have a choice of bran cereal, oatmeal or "protein drink."

Your favorite exercise is walking through the local cemetery and seeing that your name is not on any of the stones. Yet.

You pick your shoes purely for comfort and concealment. No more spike heels, bare-all sandals or those dangerous clogs that you could fall off and break something.

You pick your clothes for comfort, too. Whoever invented the elastic waistband should get a Nobel Prize, along with the guy who invented "drip dry."

Your favorite reading is, in order, the newspaper obit page (again, to check if you are on it), Prevention magazine and the AARP magazine. If you are covering all bases, add in the Bible.

Your favorite films have little, if any, graphic sex (got to watch the blood pressure) and no Disney films (too many youngsters kicking the back of your seat).

Your favorite TV shows are those boring programs on public television about the Civil War or the Wall Street crash in 1929. Hey, our ancestors lived through that, and we feel closer and closer to them as time goes by.