In Loving Memory of My Dad, Grover Becker

As Father's Day was last Sunday, I want to honor my father, Grover Becker, who until recently I had sadly misunderstood.

My father is someone I have grown to love and appreciate more in the last six months than ever before in my 35 years of life. He taught me to be diligent, patient and thorough when any job or project needed to be done. He taught me to give more of myself and to serve and minister to the different needs of others. He taught me to take pride in any task and do my very best.

My father honored his mother and took care of her, frequently visiting her. My father took our family camping and boating. When I was about 11 years old he bought us a cottage on Bantam Lake. We loved the lake! My father provided us with the best childhood that he knew how, and today I am so thankful for it! Because he didn't have a great deal of material things growing up (you see, my Dad came from a family of 16 children), he provided those things for us.

These were only some of the ways he showed our family how much he loved us. I didn't realize it growing up, but these are things God would use to make me the person I am today. You see, there are many things I didn't realize until the past several months. God has shown me that I did not honor, love and respect my father the way I should have when I was growing up, and I rebelled against his God-given authority in my life.

This year, God brought me to the place in my life where I had to examine myself and accept responsibility for my guilt in the breakdown of our relationship. I was far more guilty than my pride ever allowed me to realize before.

Not long ago I wrote my father a letter confessing my sin toward him and God, naming each and every offense, and now, as in the previous paragraph of this letter, I publicly confess to you. I asked him for his forgiveness. It has been three months since I wrote that letter, and I know he received it and read it. I still have not spoken to him—in fact, have not spoken to him in over ten years. Now, I never will. He was recently involved in a fatal motor vehicle accident.

I have three purposes for writing this letter. First, I want to publicly honor my father.

Secondly, I am asking family members to forgive me for the hurt I caused my father. I shut my father out of my life for many years, and it was wrong. Any sin I committed against Dad hurt you, and you were affected by the pain I caused him. To all relatives and anyone else who may have been affected by my actions or lack of love and respect toward Dad, I ask you to please forgive me. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart!

Third is a plea to all of you who are reading this letter and have any ill feelings toward your parents. Honestly search your own hearts, own up to your responsibility of guilt, and ask for forgiveness before it's too late. If for nothing else, you can thank God for the parent(s) He has given you! I tried, but tried too late. There is no hope for reconciliation with my father. There is for you. Take this opportunity and use it! Don't be robbed of time you could spend with your parents. Don't rob your children of time they could spend with them. Don't be selfish or proud!

So, this Father's Day, I honor my father with a love, compassion and understanding that I have never felt before. And though he has passed on to eternity, I can still honestly praise God for all the great qualities my father possessed and passed on to me!

Honor your parents, love them, respect them, put your arm around them, cherish them, while you still can!

I leave you with Ephesians 6:2-3, which says: "Honor thy father and mother," which is the first commandment, with a promise added: "That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth."