How to Achieve Inner Peace

I recently read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things you've started. It is definitely working for me. I now make a point of always finishing what I start, and I think I am well on my way towards finding inner peace. Because I care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to you.

Over the weekend, I finished four margaritas, two bags of potato chips, a 20-ounce steak, a package of Oreos, three bottles of wine and a small box of chocolates.

I feel better already.